Sad Envy.

Original Date: 2004, October 2.
Commission done for Saitou Puppy (on Gaia), a fanart of Envy from Full Metal Alchemist.
openCanvas & Photoshop


When I am in a dramatic mood I may feel tempted to call this picture the mark of my downfall. In actuality it just shows how stupid a person can be. That person being me.

I don't want to tell about the particular circumstances of the creation of this image and the events around it, because it still depresses me to think how much I failed in what I wanted to do, but I wish to point out that Saitou Puppy has been an incredibly wonderful person in all this. Thank you very much for giving me that chance and I apologize again for failing.

As for the image itself.... At the time I hadn't seen the anime it was based on yet, so it felt difficult to draw this. I struggled very much with the pose and the hair and pretty much everything, and worked nonstop for many hours...
I was a great big idiot for continuing to draw while my hand was getting tingly and then numb. In the end, the nerves in my right hand and arm were injured and I had to stop drawing (and, in fact, doing anything else with that arm) for quite a while.

I am stressing this point because it scares me when other artists tell me of their aching or numb hands while they draw and I always feel like shaking them and telling them to STOP drawing at once, so that nothing bad may happen to them.

The doctor looked somewhat doubtful when I mentioned this to him, but I still think that this never injury is what triggered my first outbreak of multiple sclerosis a few months later.
So, if anyone happens to read this: Please stop drawing when your hand feels odd. Nothing is worth risking your health over, and you can always continue to draw after taking a rest!